I want to run a theory by you, one I have been thinking about a lot lately. Have you heard the song? All the little lights by Passenger, if you haven’t I have attached it below for reference. As this is where the thought stems from, every time I hear the words it takes me into a drift of, ‘maybe this is true’.
Here is my version of the song and the way I have created it, in my overthinking head.
Maybe we are born with millions of little lights in our heart, obviously in a hypothetical sense. Pure to the world and when unfortunate things happen to us or that raw, obvious love disappears a little light turns off, until eventually all the little lights turn off along with our last breath.
These lights are the essence to our being, them going out takes away the good purity we were born with, maybe it comes back on when it is deserving.
While I have been trying to pin point when some of my internal twinkle of fairy lights went out and obviously, when others came back on. It is a task I didn’t think I would be doing on my hour commute every day.
While it has seemed therapeutic this past week, re kindling essence from the past like an old pub light ”zapping’ in and out of consciousness bringing attention to it’s every move.
To everyone who knows I am a preacher of maintaining adolescence, alone. Without a lover. I didn’t really understand why until I was counting out the lights that went out within me in the years, while majority o them are to the fault of my own, as everyone’s are many could have been avoided.
(I will make note now to write my next blog post on the above, written and duly noted!)
A little light went off when I was 7 and the two people who are meant to teach you love failed.
One went out went out in room 354 English class at the age of 16 when a loud mouthed teenage girl told me she kissed my boyfriend.
One went out when I lied to my father, I told him the party was only small.
One went out with a sold sign at 1 Weramu Street, Tallangatta.
One went out at a lonely party in Eskdale.
One went out went out when dad got sick and the ambulance bells rang the local street and echoed even louder in my chest.
One went out when the doctor said my head was normal, though I don’t believe that light will ever come back on, I don’t really want it to. I hope a light of my best friends shined brighter the day I was given the clear.
That’s the goodness we see in people, after thinking about this I am constantly bathing in the light that others give off, feeling comfortable in their aura of goodness, empathy washing over me for the pain that must of of occurred to make some lights turn off.
Other people whose lights are so dim it’s hard to see the horizon, I wonder if their lights turned off on account of their own accord, or maybe they were just unfortunate in events.
But you see some people could have the entire being ripped from their physical world and still not let their light go out, I am in ore of those people who refuse to click a switch. Who carry on with a ‘ this is the way it is, don’t bring me down’ and stroll the local streets with an essence of beauty and a feeling of ore in their path.
Maybe it’s a good willed attempt at making people revive the bad doing in their actions and only do good.