You see there is something that has been running through my head lately, something I cant seem to shake and I cant understand why, well bits of why I can gather and I know where the seed of thought was planted.
The other day I was talking to my friend about Christmas traditions and, now that I don’t live with my family and I am well past the age of waking at 5 am to Santa’s presents on the end of my bed, followed by a rush to wake my sleeping and most defiantly hungover sisters.
This Christmas I will wake beside my partner and we will kick the day off, just us two.
So when this conversation continued she quizzed me about the excitedment I must be feeling that I am in charge of the running of Christmas withing four walls and that the home I create will be a basis for the family I will create, now while that seems like an in depth thought to talk about and why it got me thinking about thinking before opening ones mouth I am still yet to work that out.
While I have been working on a post the apple falling far from this tree and at other times falling right at the trunk, within this post I will talk about it a lot in an evident approach to get to my point.
Something I need to be cautious of and something I am certainty practicing more of is thinking before I open, while this skill nearly needs a class when it comes to practicing after a bottle of wine and all that work gets thrown out the window after one class, I need to start mulling the words over in my head like a desperately busy bread machine needing and prepared the fine baked bread.
This is why I am practicing this – everyone around you is listening to what you say, they want to learn and absorb your essence and bathe in your words like a 10 day camping trip with no hot water.
It’s true, I am constantly taking note of what people are saying, sifting it in my brain under, ‘good characteristic and life lesson’ and ‘no not for me and where I want to go’, even when I overhear people talk, I am under the understanding a lot of people do this, they sift through peoples words to create what they want to create and shape it in the way they wish.
Now when I was in school and I would go around to a friends after school I would watch how my friends behavior strongly resembled their parents and that their makings into who they are have been molded by their parents, while some children are rebellions of the pack and these concepts don’t apply to their wayward nature it is still evident within home-lines.
Sometimes when I talk my mothers words come out, other times they are my fathers words bursting from my lips and lately I have been becoming more and more cautious of that ensuring I break from the bonds and become my own person and their views and mindfulness does not inflict upon the person I want to be and other things they say or do I take no and remember to use it when the opportunity arises, just like I do everyone I sift into my categories.
Those girls at school who looked upon their body with a ‘I am fat’ where makings of parents who said ‘I am fat’ and those boys who would call a girl fat are makings of parents who said ‘I am fat’ and this cycle of unintentional impulsive words have inflicted people around you with the belief that it is ok to think that and say that, now while it seems pretty far fetched the more you think about it and riddle those words from your mouth the more raw and true it seems.
Even when children are little and than grow up you will realise that the things you say come out of their mouth and your actions become your children’s.
I hated it, utterly hated it that girls in year 10 right beside me where so ashamed of the way they looked and if people thought before they spoke and that maybe those girls wouldn’t feel that way.
I am guilty of it, I was the biggest impulsive talker, constantly opening my mouth an wearing the consequences after and if I could take that time back I would. No one deserved to wear my judgement that I hadn’t fully mulled through, nor do they deserve to feel that way due to the words of someone who was yet to learn.
I remember things my mother said when I was 5, so you bet I will remember things that were said when I was 18.
So after my chat with a friend about Christmas traditions here is what I have learnt, my Santa presents will be left under the tree and not at the end of the bed, elf on a shelf will be a goer, local Christmas Carols will be attended and I will damn well think before I open my mouth and create children that will be sufficiently guided into doing the same.
I know they say the best parent is a parent with no children, which I guess is true, maybe when I have children my big mouth will be uncontrollable, but I will be damned if I don’t try.
Think before you speak, everyone is trying to be a better person, be a good influence.