Juxtaposition definition: the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.
I read this post recently on Instagram, now while he is one of my all time favourite people I may seem a bit bias in my complete and utter passion towards every word he has written.
Dale Partridge took to social media with this ground breaking piece –
“Men, if your wife is breaking down it’s important to comfort her in the moment. But it’s not sufficient. A wife breaking down is a sign that you’re not paying attention to the days and weeks prior. While it might seem like our brides go from totally fine to totally not, it’s simply not true. Husbands, it’s our job to be a student of our wives. To recognize when she needs rest, to notice when she needs encouragement, and to sense when she needs romance. Attentiveness is one of the greatest ways to show your love for her. A Godly man will still fail from time to time. However, if the frequency of dramatic moments in your marriage isn’t decreasing then you’re not intentionally studying the woman in front of you.”
While his words were so utterly correct it automatically triggered a contrasting response within me, and here is why. An old colleague of mine, one of the most amazing women I have ever met once said to me ” I try not to get angry or tell people when what they have said hurt me, why should I? It is my fault I have that reaction not them, I shouldn’t make someone feel guilty for something they didn’t intentionally mean.”
I guess after I heard those words of hers I tired harder not to push good will upon people, in fact in takes a number of people to make the world go round. The loud, the honest, the rude and the nice and if it wasn’t for her words I would still be wondering why everyone can’t be dandy, but I also wondered if I was overacting upon every little offset I have ever had and if in fact I was a hypochondriac and take one hell of a chill pill on the push to only surround myself around people who make me feel good.
It is fair to say I didn’t take that chill pill and kept writing about it, in fact it probably made me write more, for no one should deserve to feel like someone else’s rudeness can b easily absorbed by everyone, because it cant and in fact we are all different, yes it takes a number of people to make the world go around but those people who are loud, should learn to be quiet, those people who are rude should know when to pipe down and those people who are nice are mean in some minor form.
That is what has got me here and if there is a few things I am sure about at the ‘mouldable’ age of 20, I never forgive people, I nearly almost always overact and I am far too emotional. But I am aware of that and I can work on that, just like people who are rude can learn when their words sting upon another or a loud person can tell when their presence is known. People change, well I hope they do.
Now while Dale’s post was about marriage and supporting a healthy marriage it still seemed to appeal with anyone in a relationship among the comments as well as people just wanting to make sense of their own head.
So those two juxtaposed ideas of how to handle emotion, not who is to blame but who is there to help and to recognise signs of someone else’s downward spiral. I guess I have always tried to palm off my feelings, I always wanted a reason to feel the way I have in the past. But I guess in the end it was solely me who felt that way and the reason why was again, on me.
This is where I have got to with them two ideas, you see emotions re triggered by a number of things and I do believe people need to know when they are affecting that, however overreaction is a fine line to be monitored.
I think the appeal to Dale’s post was more about having someone who knew you better than you know yourself, having someone who thought of you before themselves and the emotions you are having and because who wouldn’t love someone to understand what you are feeling and why, especially when you cant put a label on it yourself.
The appeal to my old colleagues comment was maybe we are in complete control of ourselves, maybe one day we can all climb upon the mountain we have been climbing and decide which way to head next.
Here is a Bridie Edwards middle ground of blame “You tell who you need to tell about what you want to tell, life is too short to carry emotion all on your own, if your lucky enough to find someone who knows you better than you know yourself than you ask them why and you ask them what you want to ask.”
If you haven’t already liked Dale Partridge on every form of social media I suggest you do.