Surround yourself with people that are good for your mental state – I have been doing a lot of thinking this year about the people who make me feel good about myself and how I crave their presence when they are no longer around. How the ones that seem to bring me down are ones I have distance myself, after all, life is too short to be surrounded by people who drown your soul in a sea of negativity words and actions.
I remember growing up I was a “negative nelly” of a kid, I now ache for the people that were touched with my ability to spin any situation the wrong way, when I went through that girly stage of teenage harshness. I can imagine I wasn’t the most pleasant of people to be around. To those people- I am sorry for that, I’m sorry for the people who were touched with the kid trying to figure it out, I’m lady enough now. It’s too bad it all happened when it did, I have learnt a lot about life since then. I grew up and got it together.
I saw somewhere on Instagram recently a post from a girl who must be on the same page as me.”We must aspire to be the best we can,” the post explained that we must be our best when we are tired and the circles under our eyes cause our sentences to short and actions to be half forced, that we must be friendly when people are not the same in return and approachable in any situation to anyone. The statement couldn’t be truer and ever since reading it, I now grip my tongue between teeth at the chance my thought might escape when not welcomed and aim to be more conscious of my actions.
You see I have some friends who have never once said a negative word about anyone or any situation, friends who never hog the conversation, friends who genuinely care for the sake of my well-being, ones who want to see me excel in what I choose with no hint of jealousy in their actions. Then I have others who without thinking can spin me a riddle that breaks my soul, ones who reject my affection and weaken my spirit, some who solely suck the life from my bones after every encounter.
I would never once run from any of those people regardless of the way I felt, after all, it’s not their fault I am the way I am. I shouldn’t make them feel bad for being who they are, dad always says we must accept people the way they are, for it takes a number of people to make the world go round.
So now I choose who I spend my time with wisely- When I was diagnosed with depression and went back to school I remember focusing my lunch times around the people who made me laugh, fed my appearance with unnecessary compliments and who never once doubted my ability to get out of the rut I was in. The ones who unintentionally drained me, who said witty and hurtful comments the ones who told me things that did not need be said, the ones who fed me their views fresh from the thought. I spent the time with them I had to but did not let them see a side to me they didn’t deserve, I value those people who say what they think, however, it’s not who I want to be.
Now that I am older and no longer have to face adolescents every day I still find it relevant, after a bad day there are certain people I call, then there are some I avoid like the plague when I feel the bubble of pain erupting in my chest, fear they might be the person that opens the floodgates.
Be good people, please I beg of you – some things you say are not brave they are unnecessary, remember that, be better every day. Don’t dampen the aspects that make you an individual, but remember crowds vary. People who don’t enjoy comedy wouldn’t go to a comedy festival, not everyone has bought a ticket for your show. My emotional sponge of a persona craves those people, if you are much the same as me, remember those people who make your body feel lighter and relish in their presence as often as you can, I swear it will ease the dark cloud that hovers above you daily.
Surround yourself with people who are damn good for your mental health.